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I´ve spent all my life putting others before myself but now I´ve had enough.

Always have other peoples need come before my own needs and interest.

What has it given me? Nothing.

Why is it that it´s always I that have to sacrifice, pay out and fix things? I don´t owe anyone anything and yet it always magically falls upon me to fix what´s wrong in other peoples lives.

I never hesitate to help others out financially, emotionally, through work, tough times and what not. What have I got to show for it?

Many people have used my good will and intention, many have abused my trust because it have benefited themselves.

You know what? People suck.

Like I said, I never hesitated to help out anyone. Even if it left me fucking broke.

Well, that time is over now. I´ve had enough of that bullshit.

It´s time I start putting my money on the only horse I can trust. Me!

First time around I didn´t finish college the normal way because I was too busy helping people I thought were friends. Then they just left me behind.
I worked so much to save up my cash! I went through the Army because it gave me a place to stay while I had a rough time with my family, because there was nowhere else to go. I learned a damn lot yes, I was going to be shipped out but I decided on a little leap of faith. I applied for college but I expected to be turned down. Then I did get in, I got ordered to go to school by my commanding officer because he thought I was worthy of education. I did two college years in 8months, I graduated and I have the diploma. Studying did drain my financials, yes. But finally I did get on better terms with my family in the end. With my parents it has never been better and I truly am thankful for this.

Well guess what, the things I want to study and do in life doesn´t bring in any real cash. But you know what it will do? It will let me do things I´ve wanted to do for over 10years. So why can´t I do it yet? Because, money and work doesn´t let me.

With my skill-set I´m born the wrong sex and in the wrong century.

Guess what I figured? My happiness needs to come first from now on.

I´ve never hesitated to shell out for others while I was deadly scared of spending anything at all on myself. Yes, I spoil people I care about. But now it´s time I start spoiling myself instead. 

First I will stop eating the shitty food and snacks others expect me to eat for ´social acceptance´.
From now on I will eat what I want and consider to be good and healthy food!

I will work out how I want, when I want. Workout doesn´t require you to have a gym membership!

I will book that muscle therapist I´ve been looking at for the past 4years. I will get my neck, shoulders, back whatever I want fixed, because I´m tired of this shit.

I will get my drivers license in order!

I will get a dog or even two if I want or feel like it.

I will travel where I want and when I want, alone if I feel like it even, because I can´t keep waiting for everyone else to clear up their time, finances bla bla bla. Stop making excuses! I´m going where I want!

I will stop giving away my sun for the moon! I´m going to reverse my insomnia and get on the timezone I live in, so I can finally be fucking productive before I go to work. I´m going to stop being up after midnight!

I will draw, paint, do art when I get the urge. I will write what I want to write.

I´m going to fucking play the games I have dusting in my shelf! Why buy them if I´m not going to play them?

I´m going to sell the stuff I don´t ever use, that is just sitting here and taking up space. Fuck nostalgia.

Most of all:

I will do things that makes me happy.

This journal entry will be my reminder of what I got to do.

I´m in charge of my own life! I´m not letting anyone take advantage of my kindness anymore.

Support yourself! Don´t expect others to fix your life for you! Man (or woman) the fuck up!
  • Mood: Bitter

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MacViio
MacV
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
Norway
I am an artist from Norway who specialize in traditional art. I mostly paint in oil and acrylics but I also love to toy around with watercolors. I sketch every day with pen and pencil, which leave me with a lot of unfinished art!
Lately I have tried to get into digital arts but I find it very difficult so far. I just need a lot of practice I guess.
I have been drawing ever since I was able to hold a pencil and my art keeps evolving every day. I love to draw fan art of things which catch my interest. It can be anything from video games to movies and even popular culture. I am diverse and will never limit myself to just one thing. I will also put in the occasional photo here and there and maybe even some fanfictions if I feel like it. I might post an original short story once in a while too.
I donīt have a scanner so some of my art will be photographed and then shown here. The digital art however will wonīt have this problem. Iīll see if I can do something about it in the future. I hope you enjoy my art!

And please, donīt be an art thief. Plagiarism is a crime! Claiming others work as your own wonīt get you far in life.
However, if you wish to use my art please donīt hesitate to contact me, I am quite nice. Remember to always credit when credit is due.
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:iconzoeythara:
zoeythara Feb 22, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:love: thanks so much for the fav :love:
Reply
:iconmacviio:
MacViio Mar 3, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Youīre very much welcome! :)
Reply
:iconzoeythara:
zoeythara Mar 8, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
^^
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:iconkikas666:
Kikas666 Feb 16, 2014  Student General Artist
Thank you sssoooo much for the fav
I really appreciate itEmoji26 
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:iconmacviio:
MacViio Mar 3, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
No problem ;)
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:icongerberc:
Thanks for the fav.
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:iconmacviio:
MacViio Mar 3, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Youīre welcome! :)
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:iconmorloth88:
Morloth88 Jan 5, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist

Thanks for the watch :D

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:iconmacviio:
MacViio Jan 5, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Youīre welcome! ;)
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:iconeyesinthedark666:
EyesInTheDark666 Dec 27, 2013  Student Digital Artist
Thanks for the watch! ^.^ :glomp: :huggle: :hug:
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